How to Mentally Prepare for Anything

Frightened about an upcoming examination, a date, or a celebration the place you received’t know anybody? Be part of us to be taught an excellent methodology to assist CLEAR your head earlier than you go.

 

Visitor data for ‘Shira Gura- Mentally Prepare’ Podcast Episode

Shira Gura is an emotional well-being coach. Her background as an occupational therapist, yoga teacher, and mindfulness instructor led her to create two highly effective self-help instruments:  The unSTUCK Methodology® and The CLEAR Manner®. She is the creator two books: Getting unSTUCK: 5 Easy Steps to Emotional Effectively-Being (which was awarded winner of the 2017 Worldwide Guide Award in self-help), and most just lately The CLEAR Manner: 5 Easy Steps to Be Mentally Ready for Anything. By way of her teaching, programs, and neighborhood, she guides individuals to reside extra intentionally. She lives in Israel along with her husband and 4 kids. 

About The Psych Central Podcast Host

Gabe Howard is an award-winning author and speaker who lives with bipolar dysfunction. He’s the creator of the favored ebook, Psychological Sickness is an Asshole and different Observations, obtainable from Amazon; signed copies are additionally obtainable directly from the author. To be taught extra about Gabe, please go to his web site, gabehoward.com.

Laptop Generated Transcript for ‘Shira Gura- Mentally Prepare’ Episode

Editor’s Word: Please be aware that this transcript has been pc generated and subsequently could comprise inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thanks.

Announcer: You’re listening to the Psych Central Podcast, the place visitor specialists within the area of psychology and psychological well being share thought-provoking data utilizing plain, on a regular basis language. Right here’s your host, Gabe Howard.

Gabe Howard: Hi there, everybody, and welcome to this week’s episode of The Psych Central Podcast, I’m your host Gabe Howard and calling into the present right now, now we have Shira Gura. Shira’s background is as an occupational therapist, yoga teacher and mindfulness instructor. And it led her to write the ebook The CLEAR Manner: 5 Easy Steps to Be Mentally Ready for Anything. She’s additionally the host of the Dwelling Intentionally Collectively podcast. She makes her dwelling in Israel along with her husband and 4 kids, Shira, welcome to the present.

Shira Gura: Thanks a lot. It’s so nice to be again. 

Gabe Howard: Effectively, I’m very glad to have you ever again once more now, given all that is happening on the planet with COVID-19 being mentally ready for something appears extra necessary now than maybe at some other level, at the very least in my lifetime. How does your ebook slot in with every little thing that’s occurring on the planet?

Shira Gura: Yeah, I really suppose clearly once I was writing the ebook beginning final 12 months, that is earlier than COVID hit and I had no concept that the publication of the ebook was going to come out on the identical time through the hit of this pandemic. And it’s a great device for the time interval that we’re in proper now, as a result of as we’ll get into within the podcast, it’s a device that helps put together you earlier than you go into any future second. It actually helps floor you and helps you be prepared. 

Gabe Howard: It appears like an excellent, glad accident, and I’m one among these those who I strive to steer clear of the extremes, you recognize, black and white pondering has gotten me personally in hassle. It’s attention-grabbing to me, as a result of if I might have learn the title of your ebook a 12 months in the past, 5 Easy Steps to Be Mentally Ready for Anything, I might’ve been like something? Actually, something? However as we did the pre work for the present, I used to be like, look, if it really works in a worldwide pandemic, we is perhaps as far alongside the trail to something as we are able to probably get. So I’m so glad that you just wrote the ebook. 

Shira Gura: I’m, too.

Gabe Howard: All proper, as we talked about on the high of the present, you’re a returning visitor, so I need to spend simply a few moments in your earlier ebook and your earlier episode the place we talked about getting unSTUCK: 5 Easy Steps to Emotional Effectively-Being. Simply actual fast, form of baseline it for very long time listeners to the present which have heard each episodes. What’s the distinction between the unSTUCK methodology and the CLEAR Manner methodology?

Shira Gura: Each instruments are actually used for emotional well-being, however the unSTUCK methodology you’d actually use for one thing that occurred previously and the previous might be a minute in the past and it might be 10 years in the past. I obtained caught on anger. I obtained caught on frustration or I used to be caught on guilt, are issues that already occurred. And I’m caught on them as a result of I’ve an emotion hooked up to a narrative that already occurred. I take advantage of the unSTUCK methodology so as to get myself out of the outlet, out of that caught spot. However the CLEAR manner is a device that you just use for the long run. In case you are going right into a presentation, in case you are anticipating a tough dialog with somebody, in case you are about to go to work, for those who’re about to work with a shopper even and also you need to simply get clear for your self earlier than you begin work, that is the place the CLEAR manner could be used. They’re each highly effective self-help instruments which might be step-by-step as a result of they’re each based mostly on acronyms, however they’re actually used for two totally different functions.

Gabe Howard: Are you able to give us some examples of the place you’d need to get clear in your life?

Shira Gura: Should you can take into consideration any state of affairs the place you might have a sense of fear or concern or nervousness or concern going into that second, this could be the device that you’d use. For instance, I obtained clear earlier than we began this interview.

Gabe Howard: Good.

Shira Gura: I obtained clear. Yeah. And it’s not that I used to be having a lot nervousness. I do interviews loads. However once more, it’s a future second that I’m unsure what to anticipate. I don’t know what’s going to occur. I don’t know if the Web goes to work. I don’t know if I’m going to come across my phrases. So I would like to get clear. 

Gabe Howard: Thanks a lot. And if you pitched being on the present, you stated, hey, would Gabe be keen to be a guinea pig and provides his personal drawback and be walked by means of the CLEAR manner? And I believed, hey, why not

Shira Gura: We did it on the primary episode, and it labored nicely with getting unSTUCK.

Gabe Howard: We did, and it was loads of enjoyable and I discovered some stuff about myself, and I actually suppose that the listeners understood the instance, so we’re going to strive it once more. So are you able to stroll me by means of the CLEAR manner?

Shira Gura: I might love to try this, the very first thing that we want to know is what do you want to get clear about? So you may consider something. However we want to pinpoint one instance in your life the place you might have emotions of anticipation, of fear, of concern, of concern going right into a future second.

Gabe Howard: I believe that’s excellent. I’ve my first reside speech since March developing in every week. Clearly, I’ve carried out digital stuff and continued internet hosting the podcast, however Gabe Howard in a room with an precise viewers whom may throw tomatoes at me, first time in lots of, many months in every week.

Shira Gura: That’s incredible, that’s an excellent instance. Let’s try this. OK.

Gabe Howard: Glorious. All proper, what’s the 1st step?

Shira Gura: So that is an acronym, 5 steps, C L E A R, so step one is C is for calm. It very a lot relates to the unSTUCK methodology with step one, S, was cease. It’s principally the identical factor. This can be a step the place you’re taking a second to redirect your consideration away from the story, away from the long run, away from all the feelings that you just’re feeling. And we’re going to deliver it to the current second so to enable your thoughts to relaxation for a second. So we’re going to finally take care of the feelings and sort of go to rational pondering. So as to try this, we actually want to get ourselves in a spot of calm. And this doesn’t want to be lengthy. It doesn’t want to be a 30-minute meditation. It might be only one deep breath or a couple of deep breaths, however one thing even symbolic to say, OK, I’m getting clear. I’m going to begin. And the very first thing that I’m going to do is get calm. 

Gabe Howard: Yeah, I’m going to take an actual huge, deep breath. I don’t know if it is going to come by means of on the podcast, however I need to guarantee the listeners that that I’m doing it.

Shira Gura: Okay, and when you’re doing it, if you’d like, you may shut your eyes and you’ll think about your self within the place the place you’re going to give the speech, you’re about, let’s say, to stroll up the steps to the stage and also you’re going to give your speech. And in that second, you say, I’m getting clear. I’m going to first, I’m going to get calm.

Gabe Howard: All proper.

Shira Gura: All proper, the following step is L and that’s for Lighten. If you find yourself going right into a future second, when you might have all of those feelings, you in all probability have feelings which might be feeling heavy, proper? Feelings of concern and fear and anticipation. These are heavy emotions they usually have an effect on us physiologically. So the following step L for Lighten is we uncover what are the ideas that now we have concerning the state of affairs as we’re going into it? After which we see if we are able to lighten our ideas by barely altering our language. We’ll do that collectively. See for those who can uncover a thought that you’ve that claims one thing like, I do know one thing goes to occur, some form of unfavourable factor goes to occur.

Gabe Howard: I do know that I’m going to be off form, I do know that I’m going to stumble over phrases. I do know that the supply shouldn’t be going to be as pristine. I imply, it’s been months. There’s simply no manner that it might be.

Shira Gura: Yeah, nice. Good, and that’s so necessary for you to uncover what these ideas are, as a result of they’re there. They’re there in your thoughts

Gabe Howard: Yeah, they’re.

Shira Gura: And oftentimes we don’t even know or simply it’s unconscious. So we’re uncovering them. Now, you’re saying I do know I’m going to be off form. I do know I’m going to stumble. I do know my supply isn’t going to be excellent. And the query is, do we actually know that? Do we all know what’s going to occur sooner or later? The reality is, we don’t know. We don’t know what’s going to occur. Proper? And so we alter our language to it’d occur. It’s a risk which may occur. However we take away just like the I do know, which is a very heavy thought. And it actually sort of creates that actuality, like I do know it’s going to occur. In order that’s what’s going to occur as opposed to I’ve a sense which may occur. However you may even hear in my voice, it lightens. It lightens your thought and it impacts you once more physiologically. Are you able to strive one or two of these altering the language?

Gabe Howard: I’m fairly pessimistic by nature, however I can say that you just’re proper, saying I do know is boastful, proper? I can’t see the long run, so I can actually see for Gabe Howard altering it from I do know that is going to occur to I believe that it’d occur and even I’m involved that it may occur, which I can hear the distinction. I’m anxious that one thing will occur. Is a far cry from I do know it’s going to occur. I fear about loads of issues that don’t come true.

Shira Gura: Sure.

Gabe Howard: So that you’re proper. It does really feel considerably lighter.

Shira Gura: However the language that we use in our lives is so necessary for our emotional and psychological well being. I believe it’s one thing that folks simply don’t even take into consideration. However it’s actually necessary how we use our language. Let’s go to the following step, which is E and that is for Anticipate. And so right here we’re going to uncover what are your expectations, what are your hopes, what do you would like for? What would you like to occur?

Gabe Howard: I need, like a standing ovation and fireworks and other people cheering. Fairly, I desire a good speech, a superb presentation, an engaged viewers, I need individuals to snicker at my jokes and, you recognize, nod on the severe components. I need engagement, however I need the viewers to behave how I anticipate the viewers to behave.

Shira Gura: Superior. These are great uncovering of your expectations and it’s so necessary to uncover your expectations as a result of that is usually what will get us caught when our expectations aren’t met. You desire a standing ovation, you need fireworks, you need cheering. You desire a actually nice speech. You need engagement. That appears like crucial factor is you need the engagement. You need the nods and the laughter and the

Gabe Howard: Sure.

Shira Gura: Okay, superior. Proper now we’re going to go to the following step. You prepared? This one’s sort of tough. OK. A is for Settle for. On this step, we’re going to radically settle for the other of what it’s that you really want in order that if the expectations that you just really need aren’t met, you’re not going to get caught as a result of you should have accepted upfront the chance that that was going to occur anyway. On this step we’re not wanting, proper? We’re not saying, we’re not wanting the other of what we would like to have, that’s not what we’re doing. We’re simply accepting the chance that the other of what we would like could occur as a result of it’d. And if it does, and that’s actuality, what are you going to do with it in addition to settle for it in that second?

Gabe Howard: So simply to make clear a bit of bit, you recognize, in my case, I may settle for that the gang would boo and rise up and depart, however I believe that that’s too far, too excessive. I don’t actually see any, I don’t, I don’t see any state of affairs the place that might realistically occur. Realistically, the worst-case state of affairs is that the viewers is bored. It’s in all probability necessary for someone doing this methodology to not go so excessive. Like I’m going to settle for that the viewers throws tomatoes at me. That’s in all probability not a superb use of the tactic. I’m going to settle for that the viewers is bored. Would that be higher? Is like reigning that in good?

Shira Gura: Sure, superb, so I hope that I’m going to have superb engagement, proper, and I can radically settle for that I may not have superb engagement. Proper?

Gabe Howard: I’m accepting that there ho-hum. They’re going to be well mannered. I’m not giving a speech to a hostile crowd, irrespective of how unhealthy I’m, they’ll give the cursory applause on the finish. And yeah, I’ve by no means had tomatoes thrown at me and I’ve by no means been booed. However I’ve actually regarded out on the viewers and seen lots of people checking their telephones and watches and that has occurred earlier than. In that case, that’s absolutely the worst-case state of affairs and it doesn’t occur fairly often, however it feels crummy when it does.

Shira Gura: The query is, are you able to settle for that now? Are you able to settle for that that’s a risk which may occur?

Gabe Howard: I can, I can,

Shira Gura: Okay, nice.

Gabe Howard: Sure, I can settle for that, that they’ll suppose that I’m ho hum. And they’ll politely golf clap as I depart the stage.

Shira Gura: Good, so I can settle for the chance, proper?

Gabe Howard: Sure. I can settle for the chance that they might be bored.

Shira Gura: Yeah, it’s only a risk, proper, once more, not what we wished

Gabe Howard: Sure.

Shira Gura: It, however it’s a risk,

Gabe Howard: Sure.

Shira Gura: You may’t transfer ahead for those who’re being held again behind. So it’s actually necessary that you would be able to have the option to simply settle for it as a risk, which you probably did. Nice 

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Gabe Howard:  We’re again talking with Shira Gura, the creator of The CLEAR Manner: 5 Easy Steps to Be Mentally Ready for Anything.

Shira Gura: Final step, R. That is for accountability. That is the place you’re taking accountability for your manner of being, not your manner of doing and never your manner of getting, however your manner of being. Who’s it that you really want to commit to being in an adjective kind? In order that it doesn’t matter what occurs, there’s not engagement, they don’t snicker at your jokes, you stumble, it doesn’t matter what occurs, you continue to keep grounded and dedicated to your manner or methods of being. That is the place you’re taking accountability for your self and also you launch accountability of something exterior of you that you just don’t actually have management over. There’s limitless ways in which we might be possibly one or three phrases. What sort of speaker would you like to commit to being?

Gabe Howard: I need to commit to being a assured, skilled, unflappable speaker. I actually really feel that the most effective audio system are ones that don’t assault their viewers or their purchasers or. The very best audio system additionally perceive that permit’s say that there’s 100 individuals within the viewers and it solely takes about 40 or 50 % of an viewers to make the viewers appear to be they’re uninterested. It’s actually potential that you just obtained by means of to 20, 30, 40, 50 % of the viewers. I like what you stated about taking accountability as a result of so usually I see audio system get offended at their viewers. And I believe that’s, that’s not the best way this works. They don’t owe you something. You’re there for them. They’re not there for you. So I just like the take accountability. I like that. I need to be knowledgeable, unflappable speaker.

Shira Gura: Good. Superior. Now, wait a sec.

Gabe Howard: Who tasks confidence.

Shira Gura: Superior, superior. I need you to know what you simply stated once more. I actually consider language is likely one of the keys to psychological well being. I need to be knowledgeable, assured, unflappable speaker. That’s the very last thing you simply stated. Proper? I need

Gabe Howard: Sure.

Shira Gura: To be and pay attention to how totally different it’s from I need to be that sort of speaker to I’m dedicated to being that sort of speaker. You hear the distinction?

Gabe Howard: I do, I do. I need to be a superb husband versus I’m dedicated to being a superb husband. Like, who would you like to be or who would you like to marry? Any person who needs to do it or someone who’s dedicated to doing it?

Shira Gura: Precisely.

Gabe Howard: I consider my very own relationships and yeah. Yeah, I don’t need someone that wishes to be in a cheerful marriage. I need to be with someone who’s dedicated to being in a cheerful marriage.

Shira Gura: Precisely.

Gabe Howard: I believe all of us perceive that in relationships. We’re spreading that out. Proper to every little thing else. I do know I’m asking loads of like questions in between, however yeah, I, you’re proper. If my spouse got here to me and stated I need to be glad in our marriage, I believe, oh, that doesn’t sound good. But when she stated I’m dedicated to being glad in our marriage, I’d be like, all proper, all proper, let’s do that. Arm in arm. Let’s go. Good. I prefer it.

Shira Gura: It’s a distinct story, proper?

Gabe Howard: It’s, it’s.

Shira Gura: And it’s like one phrase, it’s one phrase, however it modifications the world, it actually modifications the world. So your methods of being are like an anchor to a ship. OK, that’s how you’re grounding your self. They’re in your methods of being. That’s who you’re. So it doesn’t matter what comes your manner, for those who’re on a ship and there’s going to be waves and there are going to be waves, proper. Issues are going to occur. It’s not going to be a easy run in your marriage or within the discuss or on this interview or no matter. Nothing is ever 100 % easy. So it doesn’t matter what occurs, your methods of being are your anchor. And so it’s precisely what you’re saying. It’s like I’m dedicated to doing this. It’s not that I need to be these methods, as a result of if I simply need to be these methods, the anchor goes to get unleashed. You recognize, you’re going to float away. However in case you are dedicated to being these methods, that anchor goes to keep within the floor. So it’s excellent, it’s precisely what you stated. And in order that’s the final step. And naturally, if you’d like to go extra into this work in that final step, what you can do is you can visualize your future self. So what does a assured speaker appear to be? What does a assured speaker say or act or how does he behave? The subsequent stage could be creating your future self forward of time, seeing your self forward of time, being that particular person after which manifesting it.

Gabe Howard: I prefer it and I can see the way it matches collectively now. Now, simply to recap, CLEAR stands for?

Shira Gura: Calm, Lighten, Anticipate, Settle for, Accountability.

Gabe Howard: And once more, it’s for stuff that’s developing sooner or later, so that is what I’d use for my first day of labor or my wedding ceremony day and even one thing so simple as my mother and father coming to go to or my partner coming dwelling from work. It’s broad attraction.

Shira Gura: It might be something. I labored with my child final evening, he began a brand new college and he’s 12. The youngsters in his college have been collectively for the reason that age of three. And he’s the brand new child on the block. And he tends to be shy and he needs to make buddies. And nobody is actually approaching him. And he wished to strategy children to ask them if they need to play baseball, as a result of right here in Israel, no person performs baseball. They don’t even know what baseball is. However my children have baseball mitts they usually have a baseball. And he wished to say, does anybody need to have a catch with me, however he was caught. Proper? He was caught on concern of rejection. And so I sat with him final evening earlier than he went to sleep. I stated, let’s get clear. Let’s get clear on who you’re going to be it doesn’t matter what occurs, irrespective of in the event that they reject you they usually say no or they are saying, yeah, let’s have I’d be glad to have a catch with you. 

Gabe Howard: I like that instance loads, so how can our listeners be taught these instruments, are they tough to be taught? My query is, is it tough to be taught? My listeners’ query is, is how can they be taught?

Shira Gura: Yeah, the instruments are usually not tough. They’re easy, proper? That’s one of many causes I created these instruments. I created them really for myself. After which I in fact, I educate them to different individuals, however they’re easy to be taught. And it’s not a lot are they straightforward to be taught or tough to be taught. It’s extra of how can I get apply in utilizing them? It’s one factor to purchase a device. It’s one other factor totally to say I practiced in it. I understand how to get unSTUCK from something. I understand how to get CLEAR from something. And that doesn’t occur in a single day. That occurs over time in neighborhood with individuals, working with individuals. That’s actually how this occurs. So by way of the place you may find out about it, I’ve two books.

Gabe Howard: Yeah, the place do they discover them?

Shira Gura: You will discover them on Amazon and yow will discover them on my web site, ShiraGura.com. However what you may as well discover on my Website online is a course referred to as The Living Deliberately Blueprint. And within this course are movies of me strolling individuals by means of each instruments step-by-step. There are worksheets. There are guided meditations. And as well as to plenty of different goodies which might be within that course, anybody who enrolls is invited into my personal Fb group and free month-to-month gatherings. So it’s a neighborhood, after which it’s, once more, the apply.

Gabe Howard: Shira, thanks a lot for every little thing. Thanks for serving to me with my speech. Subsequent week, I’ll drop you an e-mail and let you understand how it goes.

Shira Gura: I might love to hear and I might encourage you to get clear minutes earlier than or half an hour earlier than no matter. It’s not sufficient that we did it right here. I might encourage you to do it once more, like actually have it recent in your thoughts and actually see your self on that stage earlier than you go up there. And good luck with it.

Gabe Howard: You recognize, I actually like that, and I like that it additionally turns into one thing to occupy your thoughts. As someone who suffers from nervousness, my thoughts usually extremely focuses on the worst-case state of affairs. It appears like by going by means of the CLEAR methodology, I can maintain my thoughts occupied on that. Now, once more, for those who don’t have nervousness or, you recognize, your mileage could differ, however for me, it provides me one thing proactive to do to consider. Do you discover that in your work? Is that correct or am I simply making stuff up?

Shira Gura: No, completely, completely. In reality, I’m main a problem proper now within my personal Fb group and each particular person within the problem is practising to being one factor. That is broad vary. So one particular person is practising to be a non-overeater, one particular person is practising to be a nondrinker and one particular person is practising to be pleasant. I imply, it’s actually broad. And what I like to recommend them to do is each single day get up and affirm out loud who’re you being? As a result of if we’re practising to be someone that we’re not usually being, then we’re going to neglect. We’re simply going to be our default selves. As you get up day by day, and also you stated, I’m committing to being a loving spouse. I’m committing to being a nondrinker. You actually set the stage for the day by affirming who you’re being each single day if you get up. It units you up for the day. And such as you stated, it provides the thoughts one thing to relaxation on in a constructive manner in order that your thoughts doesn’t slip again into that default place of negativity, which occurs for everybody, as a result of that’s simply how the human thoughts works.

Gabe Howard: Anything that forestalls individuals from slipping into negativity, I believe is its personal success. When you begin to suppose poorly about one thing, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. A minimum of that’s been my expertise. And positively, having the ability to distract your thoughts with one thing proactive and constructive, I’ve to think about, creates a robust finish consequence.

Shira Gura: It completely does, and I’m doing the problem, by the best way, I’m collaborating and I’m committing to being a loving spouse. It’s not that I’m like a imply spouse or one thing like that, however I’m in all probability not like essentially the most loving spouse I might be. And I stated, you recognize what? That is what I’m going to work on for 30 days. And I’m continuously discovering myself saying this all through the day. You’re committing to being a loving spouse, proper? As a result of typically it’s not straightforward. And I simply maintain saying to myself, within the morning I say it, when my husband comes dwelling from work, I say it, and I simply and it’s nice. It’s so useful to have these phrases in my thoughts as a reminder, who’s it that I need to be?

Gabe Howard: Shira, thanks a lot for being right here. We actually admire having you.

Shira Gura: Thanks a lot for the interview. It was actually nice to see you once more.

Gabe Howard: You’re very, very welcome. Hey, all people, my identify is Gabe Howard and I’m the creator of Mental Illness Is an Asshole, which is obtainable on Amazon, or you will get a signed copy with every kind of cool swag, together with stickers from The Psych Central Podcast for much less cash simply by heading over to gabehoward.com. Let me let you know about our super-secret Fb web page you need to completely take a look at, simply go to PsychCentral.com/FBShow. And keep in mind, you will get one week of free, handy, inexpensive, personal on-line counseling any time wherever just by visiting BetterHelp.com/PsychCentral. We are going to see all people subsequent week.

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